Hogwarts, We Have a Problem
by velvetregulus
Summary: How Prongs got his name. RemusSirius implied. Not a graphic slash fic. Just the story of how James got his Marauder name. THIS IS MY FIRST FIC. EVER!


**Title: Hogwarts, We Have a Problem (Or How Prongs Got His Name)**

Synopsis: James tries (and fails) in his first attempt to shift into his animagus form. THIS IS MY FIRST FIC! EVER!

Sirius and Remus were away. Busy. The normal busy for those to it seemed. At least, to Peter.

He hurried quickly down one of the third floor corridors and made a sharp turn when a harsh whisper peeled itself from one of the abandon classrooms. "Peter! In here."

Peter ducked inside. James greeted him with his sly Jamie-grin. "James, what are we doing in here? It's nearly time for-"

"Shh!" James put his mouth over Peter's mouth and pushed him against the door. "Peter, be quieter!" He let his hand slip. Peter's lip trembled.

"Sorry." James said.

"S'ok, James, just, not so harsh next time. Why'r we here?" Peter asked.

James puffed up his chest and smiled. "I think I can do it."

"Do wha-NO." Peter said firmly.

"Wha? How'd you know what I'm plannin' on sayin'?" James said. He was getting flustered, and when James got flustered his voice usually started digressing to a Cheapside-esqe accent (even though he was hardly such) followed by that same voice gradually hitting higher and higher notes on the musical scale.

Peter giggle.

"Don' giggle at me! 'm serious this time! I've got it. Really!"

"Of course, James." Peter quieted up. The barest trace of a grin escaping the left corner of his mouth.

James squinted at him. "Anyways. As I was sayin'." His accent not so Cheap and his voice not so high. "I think I can finally turn into an animagus!" His chest slowly started to get puffy again. The "Oh-look-at-me-I-just-got-the-snitch" puffy.

"You think so, huh? Is that why you called me up here?"

"Yes."

"Why not Sirius or Remus. Remus'd be the best choice. And Sirius is-"

"Yes, they'd be better. But they'd try and stop me. They'd probably jump and tackle me to the ground and take away my wand privileges. At least Sirius would."

Peter thought better. Maybe Remus would revoke James wand privileges. But, Sirius, thought Peter, would probably goad him into doing it anyways. Just to see the resulting catastrophe.

"So, ya got me up here because I won't try and stop you?"

James grinned again. "Yep," was all he said.

"And what makes you think I won't?" Peter said defiantly.

"Because Pete," James bopped him on the head, "you're like Remus, you're just too nice." Peter swatted at James' hand. "And anyways…I needed you up here because you, next to Remus, get in the least amount of trouble. So, if something goes wrong. Like, say…if I grow hooves, you can fetch Pomfroy and tell her some lie about transfiguration homework. Okay?"

Peter felt himself nodding and stopped. He'd do it again. Follow along with one of James' ploys. But, oh well…this one might prove interesting.

"Okay. Go for it." Peter said. "I'll cover for you when you mess up."

"Hey!"

"If. Just incase. You know."

James squinted again. "Hmm. Okay!" He shifted gears. "Lets do this."

Peter jumped off the table he hadn't known he'd been sitting on. James was just that enrapturing. Yeah, sure. Peter just liked sitting. Honest.

"Ready?" James said.

"You bet." Peter ducked behind a table.

"Here we go…"said James in his best dramatic voice. And James stood there, at the head of the classroom, looking so important when a blinding rainbow flashed followed by a loud pop and thick white smoke engulfed where James had been standing.

A loud sound emanated from the cloud. It wasn't impressing; it merely sounded like a loud _thunk_. As if a ton of books had hit the ground followed by an "Oh, shite!"

"James!"

"Bullocks!"

"James! James, are you-"

"Bloody-fucking-hell!"

"James! What's wrong?" Peter said as the smoke cleared and their James stood on his knee's. Perfectly normal accept for a huge-no, gigantic, set of antlers protruding from his messy brown head.

Peter's eyes widened. "Oh. My. God."

"Christ, Peter, help get these things off me! Helped me stand up!"

Peter helped James up. The antlers were so heavy that the pair of them were forced to lay the bulging antlers on the desk. The boys panted.

"Shite." Said James.

"Should I?" Peter said.

James sighed. "Yeah, you better. Can't be seen going to dinner like this. I look like a bleeding party favor. Some gross, deformed, man-piñata."

Peter nodded and walked out of the classroom, then bolted down the hall before nearly running over Sirius and Remus who were walking arm and arm.

"Oy! Peter, watchit!" Said Sirius.

"Where's the fire, Peter?" Said Remus.

"James…ani-_pant_-magus. _Gasp_ Horns. _Pant_. Horns-_wheeze_-everywhere."

"What?" Said Remus sharply. "He didn't try to…" His voice trailed off. "Oh, no. He did?"

Peter sank onto the floor nodding. "Horns everywhere. Too many bloody horns."

Sirius glanced at Remus who nodded.

"Alright, let's go see the damage." Said Remus.

The three Gryffindor's made their way quickly to the classroom where Peter had left the be-horned James alone. Sirius opened the door and walked in.

"James?" He said quietly.

A set of antlers appeared from behind the teachers desk. Sirius shouted and fell back against Remus who quickly fell on top of Peter leaving the three non-be-horned Marauders flat on their backs like an oddly made sandwich.

Remus was the first to speak, "Sirius! What's wrong."

A moaning Peter spoke next: "I feel like a pancake."

"Oy, James. What happened?" Sirius said. His eyes were serious. His lips twitching as if he wanted to smile or laugh.

James took a seat in the teachers chair his hands trying to support the rest of his head. "What do you think?" He said pitifully and bowed his head, his horns _thunking_ against the table.

"Madame Pomfrey is going to have a thing or two to ask about how you got these babies." Sirius said, walking over and tapping the antlers.

James tried to move his antlers away from Sirius but instead leaned so far over he fell of the chair, smacking against the floor. Sirius laughed, and tried to help James up. Sirius soon to fell behind the desk, laughing, as James yanked him down.

"Oh, James! I only let Remus do that!"

"Getoffme!" James shouted.

Sirius helped James up and laughed, but quickly covered his face. He said "Shh!" to no one in particular.

"So? What do we do?" James asked.

"Take him to the hospital wing." Remus said.

"How will you explain this one, Prongsie?" Sirius said.

Three things happened after Sirius spoke. One, Remus nearly laughed. Two, Peter's eyes went wide and he dropped his jaw in astonishment. And thirdly, James cracked his fist against Sirius' nose.

Sirius went down amidst his own laughter and moans from pain.

"James!" Said Remus.

"HEY! HE decided to say something not me."

"Yeah, and you," Sirius slowly got up, "decided to attempt your animagus form early."

"I-but…" James sighed. "Yeah. I did." He tried to hang his head in shame but the antlers nearly doubled him over. Peter and James grabbed him.

"S'ok, Prongs, we'll take care of you." Sirius grinned.

"Damn you." James said. "Damn you all the way to-oof!." James stumbled. "Oh, never mind."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter laughed. And with that, the four marauders walked, horn-in-hand, to the hospital wing.


End file.
